The quality of our marriages depends on the effort we are willing to put into them. No one just lands herself into a happy and blissful marriage, it takes a little effort. The more willing we are to put our thoughts, prayers and efforts into our marriages, the more fun, lively and fulfilling they will be.
Here are a few ways to put extra thought and energy into loving your husband:
Hold the criticism and pour out the praise!
OK, it’s true — sometimes you need to vent your frustrations. But, husbands need praise too — and a lot more of it. Studies show that successful marriages have positive interactions that outweigh the negative by 5 to 1. So, if you absolutely have to complain about something, make sure it’s not all you do. Love and praise your husband.
Pray for him
Not just because he needs God’s help, but also because prayer helps you too. By taking time each day to pray for your husband, you are training your brain to consider his needs, goals and things that he might be struggling with. I also like to pray for added inspiration to know how I can best support him as his spouse.
Treat him how you want him to become
This is true in all relationships. Positive reinforcement goes a lot further than complaints. One time I apologized to my husband for what sounded to me like a negative attitude and he said, “I’ve never heard you complain. You are so positive.” The fact that he saw this trait in me made me want to always be this way. Find ways to compliment your husband and look for the good in him.
Love him, serve him and surprise him
The best marriages are a result of effort and work that is put into them. Put effort into loving your husband. Plan ahead and leave a cute note for him to find. Treat him to a surprise vacation. Give him tickets to see his favorite sports team. Hide behind the front door and wrap him in a HUGE hug when he gets home. Whatever it is, put your whole heart into it.
Know his language
Sure, flooding his email with heart-felt notes is cute, but if his love language is physical touch, it’s not going to mean as much. I had a college roommate that used to leave me notes throughout our apartment. I later found out that was her love language, and how she feels most appreciated. She thought she was building our friendship by writing me all these notes; however, my love language is quality time. I actually felt closer to my friends I hung out with a lot.
To love your husband effectively, you need to know what makes him tick. Sometimes we love others the way that we like to be loved ourselves, and then wonder what went wrong. Anyone can do a Google search and find an overwhelming amount of ideas on how to love their husband, but ultimately you are the one to know what will bring the greatest success. The best way to show love is to actively try to learn more about your husband and cater to his needs and preferences as they come up. And yes, they change over time. So have fun, be proactive and go with the flow. Your marriage (and your husband) will thank you. Mine has.
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