Everybody has heard the proverb: “Nice guys finish last.” In many cases, this saying has proved all too true. While being super nice all the time may have certain advantages, it most certainly has just as many, if not more, downfalls. You need to be able to learn how to dial down on the niceness, without it turning you into a complete dick.
If you find that you are one of those guys or girls that are “too nice”, you can probably relate to some of these points. Hopefully you’ll learn from something here to benefit yourself, for once.
1. People constantly walk all over you.
Because you are a nice, helpful person by nature, people notice that you are always willing to go out of your way to help. The problem is, this often ends up later biting you in the butt.
While I am not suggesting that you should not try to help others, you shouldn’t let people take advantage of you. Discern when to say “no” — for example, to those who are out only for themselves. Learn to speak up for yourself if people are always trying to speak for you in a situation. People will respect you more if you show a little bit of assertiveness.
2. People hardly take you seriously.
If you are the kind of person that is always in a positive mood for everything, many persons will have a very hard time taking you seriously. Of course, going through life with a lighthearted attitude can be good for the soul. But people will often interpret too much optimism as your inability to take anything serious; in the end, this will invalidate any good points you may have.
Stay positive when the situation call for it…But remember to tone down the happy-go lucky attitude when there is business to be done.
3. You forgive and forget too easily.
Being a nice guy (or gal), it makes sense that you will often not want to deal with confrontation. So, you choose to forgive people, even when you know they don’t deserve it. What you may or may not know is that this is only a temporary solution to your problems, and what you need to realize is that this person will more than likely end up screwing you over again in the future.
If you want to be able to resolve issues with others effectively, force them to take responsibility for actions that affect you (or others) negatively. They will either realize that they were in the wrong and not do you wrong in the future, or they will simply do it again, without care for your feelings. In which case, you need to start letting these negative people out of your life.
4. You love fast and fall hard.
You meet somebody, and you start to really care for them. You want to do whatever it takes to make this person happy. You start to make changes and sacrifices in your own life, just to please this person. The problem? The other person doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you, leaving you in deep trouble.
Often times, the person gets used to everything that you do for them, and starts to take advantage of you. You get so caught up in your feelings with this person, you aren’t able to see how they’re hurting you.
So, how do you prevent this situation? Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. If you are giving your all for someone and they aren’t giving back, you need to simply walk away from this situation. Making someone else happy is not worth it if you can’t be happy yourself.
One of these days, you’ll find that one person who will truly appreciate what you have to offer. Once you find this person, your nice personality will never be an issue again.