How do you view negotiations? Do you consider it to be intimidating and exhaustive? Have you met super negotiators who are skilled at getting what they want? What skills do you think a great negotiator needs to have?

My little brother may just be a good negotiator or perhaps your kids are great at negotiating and having their way at the long run.

It is important that a great negotiation has all parties having their way and it is a win-win situation. Why negotiation may be necessary is to understand what the other person wants and providing it. Such specification could lead to understanding the emotions surrounding this desire. That is why I could hand you a burger for 20 bucks and you will still be glad about it. Here are reasons some people are good negotiators.

1. They are honest

You have to get the other party to trust you. Many people tend to think that great negotiators are liars, stubborn and mean. But there is nothing mean about a great negotiator. Rather they know how to make the other person feel comfortable in making their demands and getting what they want. Being honest doesn’t mean that they are loose lipped; rather they are focused on ascertaining trust and a common ground in the process.

2. They are empathetic

The truth is that great negotiators are considerate. They appeal to the emotional angle first before they appeal to the logical one. By appealing to the emotional angle of the other person, they appear soft and contrite. This skill also allays the other person’s doubts and discomfort about getting a fair price or getting what they want.

3. They are attentive

They are great at asking questions. They ask questions that trigger exact and definitive answers. Learning to ask such open ended questions requires practice. But doing this allows them to listen better and learn more about what spurs the other person’s demands and requests. They can decipher what drives the other party to make such demands because they are attentive.

A question like “we would love twenty percent, is that good enough?” will achieve such an objective. Rather than using verbs like “is” or “was”, start your questions with words like “how,” “what,” and “why.”

4. They are prepared

Good negotiators know where they are heading and who they are dealing with. They understand that people do not simply make decisions rationally but most times act unconsciously or emotionally or both. This is why great negotiators approach each negotiation with an emotional focus. They have data, they know what options they have, who has the bargaining power and their bottom line. Most great negotiators don’t just dive into a negotiation without some heads up.

5. They are persistent and patient

Good negotiators know that being patient and exercising perseverance do pay off. Most people get tired of the negotiation process at some point and simply want to conclude the negotiation and move on. Good negotiators understand the human angle to this and play to wait. They understand it could come down to resilience and stamina. Holding on can be more efficient than a “take it or leave it” approach. They know that at the end of the day they could get the best possible deal by just staying the long haul.

6. They are persuasive

Great negotiators won’t just go in because of something sounds mouth watery. They are fair. They know what they want out of a deal and would go ahead to get it because they believe in what they are asking for. They feel justified they are deserving of what they are demanding and would stick to persuading the other party to see why this is so. This doesn’t make them less reasonable but actually their form of persuasiveness makes them more agreeable.

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